Each of you gets ten points to spend across five rows, privately. Compare the two sheets, and talk only about the rows where you differ by three or more points. That one conversation settles more than a long debate about destinations.
This guide belongs to our decision methods topic. You can also try our couple priorities chooser after you finish.
How does the worksheet work?
Copy the table below. Each of you spends exactly ten points across the five rows, alone, without looking at each other’s page. You may put zero in a row.
| Row | What it means | Your points | Partner’s points |
|---|---|---|---|
| Privacy | Quiet, few people, a private pool or beach | ||
| Food | Choice, halal or dietary needs, local flavours | ||
| Activity | Things to do, tours, sights, adventure | ||
| Budget | Keeping the total for two under a limit | ||
| Rest | Slow mornings, recovery, easy arrival |
Why only ten points?
Because everything matters a little. Ten points force you to say what matters most. If you split two points on each row, you have not chosen yet.
Fill it in separately and put the sheets down before comparing. Looking at your partner’s score first will change your own.
How do we read the gaps?
Subtract your points from your partner’s in each row. Use the size of the gap to decide what to discuss.
| Gap | What it means | What to do |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 2 | You agree | Treat the row as settled |
| 3 to 4 | A real difference | Discuss it, with one concrete example |
| 5 or more | A deal-breaker for one of you | Make this row the first filter |
What if the budget row is the problem?
Money is the row couples find hardest to say aloud. If one of you scored high and the other low, check what each number means. A low score may mean “I do not mind spending”, not “I do not care about cost”.
Use the honeymoon budget calculator to see what a total for two actually looks like. Then return to the row.
How do we turn the sheet into a shortlist?
Take the two rows with the highest combined points. Those are your filters. If privacy and rest lead, look at quiet island stays. If food and activity lead, look at a city.
Our guide on picking a couples trip by your top priority maps top rows to trip types.
What if we are still far apart?
That is information, not failure. Read when one partner wants quiet and one wants action for destinations that serve both styles.
What should we do next?
- Copy the table, and each fill it in alone.
- Compare and mark the gaps of three or more.
- Talk about one gap at a time, using a real example.
- Pick the two top rows as your filters.
- Send us both sheets and your dates, and we will suggest options for two that fit both.